wow...what a semester. student teaching has definitely been one of the most challenging yet rewarding experiences of my life. i LOVE my students. however. i dont always love the attitudes that they can get. smacking of the teeth/lips. you know the typical teenage stuff. i had the conversation with my mom the other day saying that im not sure i can ever have a teenager (being dramatic i know!). they make you feel too guilty. i had a student act out very badly in class on thursday. not only did the student become very upset when they were informed that they were in "trouble" but they yelled out saying that i take things too far and that they whole situation was my fault. wow. ouch. sounds like something i told my mom in 8th grade (maybe even 12th:)) it hurt. i felt like a failure. now, many of you veteran teachers are saying youll get over it and im sure i will. hopefully letting things like that roll right off will come very soon! when walking my students to their encore classes after the worst class period ive had yet, a student whispered, "ms. king, are you sure you want to become a teacher? there are some crazy students out there." i said yes. of course. i am so glad that i have the assurance that the Lord has called me to this profession. if he had not, i probably would have peaced out a while ago. but i have no 2nd thoughts! a friend spoke at CRU a few weeks ago and reminded me that God equips those that he calls. so true. i have to tell myself that on a daily basis. if the Lord didnt equip me to do this, i could NOT do this! it is so encouraging to see how the Lord has provided for me in this area and i am even more confident in his ability to provide for all of his children.
i often feel like moses. he argued with God saying, why me! i dont speak well! there is NO WAY that i can do this. there must be someone better! but the truth is the Lord is probably thinking youre right! you cant do this alone! but with me, you can! he wants to provide for us and use us to glorify himself. we ( i mean mostly me!) need to chill out. its not about us but rather about him. Christ. we are hopeless without him. he died an insane death on the cross so spend eternity with us and use us UP for his glory while we are on the earth. sit back and let the Lord carry you through this life! its what he wants!
For if we live, we live to the Lord, and if we die, we die to the Lord. So then, whether we live or whether we die, we are the Lord's. Romans 14:8
If I were better about blogging, I would have written something very similar to this in the recent weeks. Teaching is tough. If it weren't, we'd probably have better teachers out there! One thing that I've learned this semester is to not let it get to you. When the kids get upset with you (when you're doing your job), remind them that it's their decisions that get them in trouble, not your discipline. If you take everything to heart, you'll burn out very quickly, and we can't lose a teacher like you, Caitlin! I have some kids tell me that they don't like me, or grumble something under their breaths and I just look at them and say, "You wanna know how much I don't care?" and then smile. It freaks them out when you say something like that and then smile. :) Haha
ReplyDeleteYou've definitely got it right about God equipping us to do His calling. That's how I know I'm supposed to be a teacher, because there is no way I'd be able to do this on my own. Keep pushing through, girl. We'll be out soon enough!