He's In The Waiting

     So this summer has not been nearly as restful and rejuvenating as last summer. As I pack things and begin to stage our house to go on the market, I'm listening to "Take Courage" by Bethel Music. A lump in my throat and tears begin to form. I feel the spirit prompting me to write. So here it is. Here I am again. Waiting. If you've known me for at least 3 or so years, you know that Bradley and I had a difficult time getting pregnant with our miracle, Lillie.
     After an intense infertility battle we found out that were expecting Lillie on July 4th, 2015. Fireworks were literally erupting outside of my window as the second line appeared. This year, I can hear fireworks but they are a reminder this time. A reminder that God is faithful. Faithful in the moments of victory and faithful in the moments that seem like defeat through my worldly eyes. You see, we decided to try to have a second baby. The OBGYN said to give in a whirl naturally. My body quickly showed signs that it wasn't going to cooperate. So we found ourselves back in the fertility clinic. This July 4th, we will be accepting the fact that our first fertility treatment failed. Wondering, will one ever work again? Some of you might be wondering, why on earth is she sharing this? As I began to share about my infertility battle the last go around, I began hearing the stories of people around me. Infertility and miscarriages and many broken hearts. I decided that God has given me this story to share. Infertility sucks. It's mourning broken dreams. Mourning the loss of something that most people can achieve easily. I have to ask myself this time, should I sit in silence and cry alone over a negative pregnancy test? Is God not good if I never get pregnant again?
      Right before my last found of treatments in 2015 I finally accepted the fact that God is good even if I never have any children. It's still true. God didn't leave my womb empty though. He did the impossible. I have a feisty red headed 2 year old sleeping down the hall to prove it. What my body couldn't, God did. He did the same thing in the grave. He rose from the dead and conquered sin and death forever. Friends, we have hope.  God is a good God. God can do the impossible and he does it when he wants to. When I look in my daughter's eyes, I know she came at the perfect time. He loves us. He hears our cry. He holds us when that treatment fails. He holds us when we pull in the church parking lot and we see 50 Honda Odysseys and wonder if we will ever need one because we can't have multiple children. He loves us so much he would give himself up for us. If we seek him to find peace, we will find it. So, if you are in the midst of a battle, fall on Jesus. Let him carry you through this. Let him refresh you. Let him give you rest.

He leads me beside still waters.
3     He restores my soul.He leads me in paths of righteousness    for his name's sake.

Pslam 23:2-3

Consider it Pure Joy

   
      My family has had no shortage of struggles. Starting with my mom hemorrhaging after I was born and then again when she miscarried at 13 weeks. I watched my dad suffer and come within hours of being taken away before getting a new liver. I was diagnosed with Ulcerative Colitis in 2008 and have battled some nasty flares. My mom was told in 2013 that her heart was failing and need a valve replacement soon or she wouldn't be around much longer. I thought for sure it could only go up from here. As a human, it's normal to have feelings of rage when you are told that something is wrong with your body. However, as we progress in our relationship with Christ, our perspective of hard times should begin to change. As pastor Steven Furtick has said, "Don't be surprised that you're being chased when you're the one running with the ball." The ball being the Gospel. I just want to give a little timeline and brief testimony of our last two years.

"Consider it pure JOY, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance" James 1:2-3

Summer 2013: We began pursuing a family
April 2014: I was diagnosed with PCOS and told it would be a long road to conception
September-December 2014: Four rounds of basic fertility treatments. All failed.
December 2014: We were told that we would not conceive without IVF

This was a breaking point for me. I hit my knees hard. I have never had the faith that God could do the impossible like I did the night we were told IVF was the only way. I believed God was bigger. I had seen him do great things before. However, I still had the mindset that "yes" had to be the answer. I would never have admitted it but I'm not sure I believed God would still be good if I couldn't be a mom.

March 2015: We met with a fertility specialist at CMC Main. She told us that she believed there was still a chance without IVF. I couldn't believe it. God had answered my prayers. I was given a new sense of hope and faith. God was saying, "I can do the impossible". They would try 3 rounds. After that, they would stop and move to IVF.

April 2015: First round of more intense fertility treatments. It failed. This was hard. I thought for sure that since God had provided a way out of IVF, it would surely work the first time. I'm not really sure why I thought that. Many tears. We were also overwhelmed with costs. Even though we were not doing IVF, we were still paying hundreds of dollars. God provided. We were given a check for $1,200 which covered one round of treatment. We all cried over how God was moving.

May 2015: Second round. It failed. This was less painful than the first for some reason. God really began to work on my heart during this time. I was able to believe that even if I never got pregnant, God is still good. I also heard God saying to follow him blindly. That word, blindly, kept popping up in my mind. That meant giving up control. Just letting God deal with it. I clung to Psalm 23. I would close my eyes and picture Jesus leading me to the most peaceful place. I would imagine being too weak to walk and him carrying me through the valley. I knew that no matter what happened, I had Jesus. He would be my comfort. He is good.

"Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see." Hebrews 11:1

June 2015: I was the calmest I had been in 2 years. I had peace that transcended all understanding.  I was a little nervous but I had peace in that God had a plan for me and it would be greater than anything I could imagine. This was the LAST round. Well, it worked! I cried for a good 30 minutes when that second line appeared. Sometimes, I still wonder if I'm dreaming. The feeling of God's mercy when we saw that heart beating was overwhelming.

"Praise be to the Lord, for he has heard my cry for mercy." Psalm 28:6

There are so many women in the Bible who wanted children and couldn't conceive, but did.  I would read their stories over and over again knowing that God could do the same thing today. I like to think it's one of God's favorite miracles.

"So in the course of time Hannah became pregnant and gave birth to a son. She named him Samuel, saying, "I asked the Lord for him".  1 Samuel 1:20

Lastly, I want people to know that IVF is not some horrible thing. I know people that have had to go through IVF and it could still be us in the future. IVF costs over $10,000 a round and many people need multiple rounds. There are ethical ways for IVF to be done. Some people may wonder why we didn't pursue adoption. We researched and researched. We prayed. We felt God was leading us to continue fertility treatments. I was surprised. I thought he would move my heart to adoption. I think it is still a possibility.

Thank you friends and family that have cried with us, prayed with us, and hoped with us.

One Year

It's August. I've been dreading this month. I hoped for a miracle. It didn't come. Well, at least what I wanted to happen hasn't happened. So what is it? A baby.

Last August we started trying. I knew it could take a few months but the months kept going by.  Nothing.

It hurts. Bad. Watching so many friends experience this miracle in their life and then multiple times. Why me? Haven't I been through enough? These are some of the questions I've been asking in the past couple of months.

Of course I've been to the doctor. He was so nice and understanding. I assumed they would make me keep trying for longer before they would do anything. Long story short, I have Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome. Along with about 1 in 10 women. I love science so I've been studying it nonstop. Basically it's something that was made way worse when I was pumped full of steroids and gained some fluff during my lovely flares.  Enough of that. Let's get to the important part.

Back to the why me? I don't have an answer for that. But, I have had that question before. More than once! And it usually ends with my "major" event glorifying God on levels I'm sure I don't understand.        God loves to make me sit back and watch. He always has, from a dying dad to being jobless a week before we got married. From impossible flares to providing a godly husband. He loves making the impossible possible in my life.

Many times before I lacked the faith that he could do it and that he has a plan for my life. I'm approaching this differently. I'm going to go back to Bethel like Jacob did. I'm going to remember that the Lord is good. He is faithful. I'm expecting something big. He has done it before.

I debated whether or not to expose this to the world. Is it too personal? Too weird? Well, I decided to share anyways. I have a feeling there are others out there in impossible situations. We need to stick together and encourage each other. So, it's done!

Greater than Great

Psalm 89:1
1 I will sing of the LORD's great love forever; with my mouth I will make your faithfulness known through all generations.

I feel like there is no word in the English language or probably any language to describe how great our God is. I have been pressed to think about this recently as the Lord has been doing the most spectacular things in our lives. I just can't hold it in anymore. I have to write and share about what we have been experiencing. I shared with our egroup that I was worried about getting a house. I've never wanted a house. I've pictured myself in an apartment in Europe forever. Isn't a house too worldly? Being planted in the USA of all places seemed scary to me. Well, here we are. We are set to close on our house in ONE WEEK. I've been praying that if it was the wrong move or too permanent, that God would show us. We hit some bumps along the way. So, I want to share how God has proven his faithfulness and sovereignty in this process. In order to make it short and sweet, I'm going to do it in a list:)

1) House is pushed back to August 20th.
2) We find out the next day that we need A LOT more at closing.
3) If the house had not been pushed back, we would not have had time to save.
4) While trying to save, it came down to tithing and other offerings vs. groceries and gas
5) Tithing continued and groceries went on credit cards
6) The perfect amount we needed to close on our house fell in our lap. Like manna. SERIOUSLY. CRAZY. That story will remain a secret. Sorry!
7) I call to make a payment for one of B's student loans. They said I had paid too much previously and that we owed $0.00!! WHAT. I've never overpaid. THERE IS NO WAY.
8) I go the doctor. My co-pay is close to $100. When I went to check out, they said I didn't owe anything. They have a special contract with my insurance company that will only let me pay so much. I am still super confused about that.
9) Groceries and gas on credit cards are being paid off much quicker than originally planned.

Things like this are continuing to happen on a regular basis. I want to make it clear that God has not provided for us because of what WE did. HE is growing our faith through his provision and through his word constantly. He planted us here. In the Steele Creek area of Charlotte. It has become our ministry. We love it. Thank you Jesus.

Two Years!

Today we celebrate two years of marriage! I am so thankful for my husband. The Lord uses him to speak truth and love into my life daily. I have been reflecting a lot the past few days on our history together. Bradley and I met at UNCC because we were both involved in Campus Crusade for Christ. A few months later, some guy friends moved into the same apartment complex as some of us other girls from CRU. It made for some great times of fellowship. There were nights that we would get together and worship. Sometimes we would play games or watch movies. It was definitely a very special time in my life. One of those guys was Bradley! By November 2009, we had caught each other's eye. :) We spent 8 weeks during Summer 2010 with very little communication while I was in Italy/Slovakia and he was in East Asia. Once we were reunited, we knew we never wanted to spend time away from each other again. Just a few months later, we were engaged! So, that's our love story in a nutshell!

Some major events from our second year of marriage include:

-A trip to Slovakia (my favorite place on Earth!)
-A hospital stay from a nasty flare
-Graduate school started
-Bradley was accepted into the CMPD police academy
-We signed a contract to build a house!
-Bradley graduated from the academy! BIG YAY!!!!! I am one proud wife!
-We bought a new to us car (not wanted or planned-yuck)
-I finished my second year of teaching

This has been a VERY exciting and big year! I can't wait to see what the third year brings!

I was looking through some wedding photos...

Practicing for the big day

 

Mr. and Mrs. Bradley Morris

Our beautiful cake.

 

 

 

Love my daddy!

 

Really missing this!

 

 

 

Such a wonderful time and a wonderful two years!

 

 

Itsy Bitsy Spider.

WARNING: If you don't like nasty bug bites don't look!:)

One afternoon, I was sitting in a meeting in a science classroom. I felt something bite me on the foot. I smacked my foot and a little brown spider fell on the floor. My friend killed it. I didn't think a thing about it. Several days passed. The week before EOGs, I noticed that I started to feel very achy. I thought I must have pulled several muscles or something even though I really hadn't done anything. Friday morning, I woke up with my thigh feeling like someone had punched it. I still had not really put the pieces together. I didn't think there was any way that a little pink bite on my foot would cause me to feel achy and have swollen lymph nodes. When I went to urgent care, I had a fever. They convinced me that it was indeed the spider bite causing me to be sick. I ended up on two high powered antibiotics and dealing with a fever for 3 days. Here are some pictures from the bite's progression. It is all better now:)

Just a few days after the bite

After one day of antibiotics

A few days in, it started to ulcerate.

Then it turned very blue

 

Eventually it healed and formed a scab.

 

Isn't that WEIRD and GROSS?!

 

SO. What does any decent teacher do? Make it a teachable moment.

 

After EOGs, I decided to dedicate a day to dangerous insects of NC. There are some NASTY caterpillars around here guys! Anyways... I thought this foldable title was cute!!!

 

Building an idol. Oops, I mean house!

Over the past four months, we have waited, hoped, and prayed for our home as it being built. There have been many ups and downs in this process. For example, today we found out we make too much money for the loan that we had been initially approved for. Bradley was still in the academy and they do pay them a little more when they get out. Now we have to apply for another loan that is less young couple friendly. When we received the news, I was furious. WE make too much money? Is that a joke? This is how the government thanks us? Grrrrrr. I laughed. I cried. I panicked. Yesterday, we found out that builders around the city are struggling to build houses quickly this year due to weather and a shortage of workers and our house will not be ready until mid-August. I cried. I got angry. When Bradley got home from work yesterday, I asked him how his day was. He told me he saw a dead body. Yes. That is weird that we discuss things like that but we are weird after all. I asked what happened. He said a girl texting crossed the center line and hit an older couple who had just celebrated 40 years of marriage and were on their way to breakfast. The impact killed the older woman. Bradley shared a few other details which brought me to tears. Then it hit me like a ton of bricks. What am I doing? I have made an idol out of my house. I think about it all of the time. I can't wait to drive by and see it. When I thought I might not have it or not on time, I lost my mind. Then I began to sulk about how bad I am. I'm such a sinner. Blah Blah Blah. But I reflected on something David Platt says in his book, Follow Me. It's dangerous to stay in that place for long. When we make the decision to follow Christ, we die with Christ. We die to ourselves. We are raised to life IN Christ. It's sort of like a house. When we are raised to life, it's like a lot being prepared for a structure. Over time, a structure is built. Piece by piece. Eventually it will become what the architect designed but it's not easy. There are ups and downs and things that don't pass inspection and need to be worked on again. I am thankful for what the Lord can teach us in this life. I am thankful he doesn't leave us an empty lot but builds us into a pretty house that is strong.

 

 

"I will sprinkle clean water on you, and you shall be clean from all your uncleannesses, and from all your idols I will cleanse you. And I will give you a new heart, and a new spirit I will put within you. And I will remove the heart of stone from your flesh and give you a heart of flesh. And I will put my Spirit within you, and cause you to walk in my statutes and be careful to obey my rules."
Ezekiel 36:25-27

Blessings!

As I type, my sweet husband is on the way to his first day (or night!) of work as a police officer. He graduated yesterday as part of the 164th class of the CMPD traning academy. I am so proud of him. He has endured six months of intense academic and physical training. He went from being a college student to a lean mean fighting machine before my eyes! I can't help but be so incredibly proud of his dedication. I can't even describe how blessed I feel. The Lord has provided everything we need and more. He knows how to give to his children! A year ago we weren't sure if we were going to go overseas, join Campus Crusade, or some other endeavor:) The Lord made it clear that he wanted us to serve the people of Charlotte. Both of us. The Lord has open to door for us to share the gospel and minister to many people around us. He has provided an awesome church with people that push us closer to Him. I have never been one to give up control easily. However, I have learned that if you let go and trust, He will provide and it will be better than you could have ever imagined! I promise.

I am so thankful for the leadership of these two men in my life. They point me back to Christ when I am ready to give in!

A Loving God.

"One of the most unloving things God could do would be to allow you to live in sin and operate under the illusion that you’re still close to Him." -Pastor Steven Furtick
 
Then we will no longer be infants, tossed back and forth by the waves, and blown here and there by every wind of teaching and by the cunning and craftiness of people in their deceitful scheming. Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ. Ephesians 4: 14-15

The Lord has been bringing to my attention over the past six months or so that I was becoming a bitter person. It wasn's something that I allowed everyone to see and I often didn't feel the need to open up that part of me to anyone other than my husband. When I would hear the word bitter, I would coil up and almost feel sick because I knew it was true.

The truth is, we live in a sinful world. Even people we expect to be the most uplifting will hurt you. People can cut so deep you feel like you will never recover. Not only do people hurt me, I am guilty of hurting people as well. Everyone has hurt someone else's feelings whether it was intentional or not.

After seeking the Lord for months, the time had come for the nasty and hard part. That is called forgiveness. I call it nasty because it can be hard to admit you still need to forgive someone when it has been months or even years of consistent hurt. I knew that I was close to the Lord working a miracle and the Lord rescued me from my bitterness after listening to message that I know the Lord prepared for me to hear on this day.

Pastor Steven Furtick preached a sermon series called How To Hug A Vampire. We have all been vampires because we have all hurt people. Pastor Steven invited Mark Driscoll to come and share a word in May 2012.  I listened to the message again this morning and heard these awesome and weight-lifting truthes.

1. You either choose forgiveness or bitterness
2. Forgiveness is a miracle-it's not something you do for someone else. It's something that Christ does in us and through us.
3. Bitterness is a tree-it has roots that must be dug up
4. We can't do it alone

Forgiveness is:
Not pouring out your wrath on someone else
Being set free from their offense and setting them free
Wanting the best for the other person
It's all through Christ

Forgiveness is Not:
Denying the sin
Forgetting
Reconciliation-things may not go back to the way they were and that is ok
It's not regaining trust

I feel like often times, we as believers say, "YOU must forgive others!" and we leave out the part, "You must forgive others and it can only be done through Christ and it is a process." It was also such a relief to take the pressure off of myself to make things "normal". That is not a truth about forgiveness. We can cause ourselves a lot of anxiety if we put that pressure on ourselves. The Lord has the power to restore, but it's up to him and it MUST be done through him.

I know this revealed a lot about my heart but it's so good for the soul to recognize sin. I am so grateful that the Lord loves me enough to call me out on sin and not leave me the same! Praise Jesus!

When He Calls...

He will equip.

Then the Lord said to Moses, "See, I have chosen Bezalel son of Uri, the son of Hur, of the tribe of Judah, and I have filled him with the Spirit of God, with wisdom, with understanding, with all kinds of skills-to make artistic designs for work in gold, silver, and bronze, to cut and set stones, to work in wood, and to engage in all kinds of crafts. Moreover, I have appointed Oholiab son of Ahisamak, of the tribe of Dan, to help him. Also I have given ability to all the skilled workers to make everything I have commanded you..."
Exodus 31:1-6

While reading through the instructions that God had for Moses to build the tabernacle, I felt overwhelmed. There were so many DETAILED instructions. Surely there were mistakes! I mean, they were normal people, not artists. Then I came to Exodus 31 and it all made sense. They didn't have to do it on their own. The Lord appointed specific people and gave them specific skills. When the Lord calls us and gives us instructions, he doesn't leave us on our own. He will provide us with the skills needed. Moses did not have the skills to lead the Israelites out of Egypt, but the Lord called him. He equipped him. Our God is good.

Banner Year

Then Samuel took a stone and set it up between Mizpah and Shen. He named it Ebenezer, saying, "Thus far the Lord has helped us." 1 Samuel 7:12

I often change this to, "Thus far the Lord has helped me", when pondering this scripture.

The past several weeks our pastor has led us through a series called Banner Years. At first I thought it sounded weird. What is a banner year? It seemed over my head. However, it was exactly what I needed to hear. I learned that EVERY year can be a banner year. It depends on your perspective. Some of the things Pastor Steven discussed were trusting the Lord with finances, examining what our "scoreboard" is "scoring". Is it scoring how we are pleasing man or how are taking the gospel to the lost. A banner year is a year that you consider successful. I was really challenged by this. I could easily (and I do often) look at this past year as being a barren year. I had two bad flares. Out of 12 months, I was on steroids for 6 of them which caused me to gain around 25 pounds. I endured severe pain for a month. It was hard financially. I loved my first year of teaching but it was very stressful.

Truthfully, however, it was a banner year. The Lord provided a wonderful job with wonderful kids during a terrible economy. We never went hungry (clearly!:)) The Lord provided everything we needed. We traveled to SK. The best, however, was the eternal perspective I gained while laying in bed for weeks. It can't even be described in words. I only see the vision in my head. My pastor and my egroup challenged me to reflect on how the Lord has helped. Wow. It is amazing. Have you had a banner year?:)

The Church

The Church
Elevation Worship

We are the change
the world is waiting for
We've got a love
the world is desperate for
We will lead
and take to your streets
Now's the time for us to rise
and carry hope and let love shine
and show this world that mercy is alive
Now's the time for us to rise
and carry hope to hopeless eyes
and show this world that mercy is alive

We're not afraidwe will abandon all
to hear your name
on lips across the world
we will run
in the wake of your love

Fill our hearts with your compassion
let our love be active here

     This past weekend, I was able to go to Charleston with the women in my family. The women in my family are very diverse in their opinions about pretty much everything in life:) While listening and disscussing many different issues with my family, the Lord continued to open my eyes about many things. There are people hurting around us. I mean REALLY hurting. It could be depression, relationship issues, a health problem, and many things I cant even think of. If you are hanging out around the church, you know there are hurting people inside. But what about those who don't know Jesus? They are hurting and hopeless. If you are a believer, you may be in a difficult situation, but you have the almighty God carrying you through. What if you were walking alone in this world?
     Before I went to work as a teacher, I knew little of the hurt and hopelessness in this world. I was surrounded by believers in college. We worshipped and prayed together. On occasion, we would go out on campus and find people to share the gospel with. Afterwards, you felt like you could check something off of the list.
     Now, I am around quite a few non-believers. People who are clueless to the love of Christ. They want to be rescued but don't even know what they need to be rescued from. Instead of filling our hearts with concern for these people, we spend our time concerned with whether or not someone else in the church is being "godly" enough. We criticize other believers for what they are wearing to church or what type of music they are listening to. I am so guilty of this! I love how this song describes how the church should be. I have been challenged this fall to analyze what in my life is holding me back from reaching the lost. Should I have 3 or 4 kids if I want to be intentional in reaching into other's lives? Should I aspire to be a stay at home mom one day or stay at work? I so do not have the answers to these questions but I have been challenged to think about them. How can we be the church the world is waiting for?

Why didn't you come sooner?

"Beneath the Waters"
Hillsong Cornerstone

This is my revelation
Christ Jesus crucified
Salvation through repentance
At the cross on which He died

I will rise, I will rise
As Christ was raised to life
Now in Him, now in Him
I live

Now hear my absolution
Forgiveness for my sin
And I sink beneath the waters
That Christ was buried in

I will rise, I will rise
As Christ was raised to life
Now in Him, now in Him
I live

I stand a new creation
Baptized in blood and fire
No fear of condemnation
By faith I'm justified
I rise as You are risen
Declare Your rule and reign
My life confess Your Lordship
And glorify Your Name
Your Word it stands eternal
Your Kingdom knows no end
Your praise goes on forever
An on and on again

No power can stand against You
No curse assault Your throne
No one can steal Your glory
For it is Yours alone
I stand to sing Your praises
I stand to testify
For I was dead in my sin

I will rise, I will rise
As Christ was raised to life
Now in Him, now in Him
I live
     I've already mentioned the book Undaunted in another post but WHOA is the Lord speaking to me through this book! I just wanted to share a story from the chapter that I read last night. Christine describes a night that her and her friends were lost in one of Australia's rainforests. Her description seemed miserable. She was cold, hungry, and the worst part about it was that no one knew that they were lost. I figured she was using the story as an illustration but when I got to that illustration, I was blown away. One of her friends decided to leave the rest of the group to look for help. It was a huge risk for him to go by himself. The boy came back the next morning with help. The feeling of being saved was incredible. A feeling that she would never forget. But she took it a step further. The Lord wants to save EVERY soul. We need to remember what its like to be unable to get out of the dark on our own. We as believers need to hold in our hearts the feeling of being saved and remember what it was like to be lost.
     Christine and her husband rescue girls who are sex slaves in Europe. One girl asked her why she had not come sooner. Wow! This causes tears for me and I do NOT cry easily. Do I look at every lost person like that. Why am I not coming sooner? Do I not remember what it was like to be lost? The Lord has used Caine to remind me that no rescue can come soon enough!

Here I am, Lord. Send me! Isaiah 6:8

Encouraged

This fall I have been able to read a couple of books that have really encouraged me in my relationship with the Lord. My amazing pastor, Steven Furtick, wrote a book called Greater based on the life of Elisha. He challenges us to pray for the Lord to reveal what is holding us back from complete surrender to Him and to start acting instead of sitting on our behinds. Bradley and I read this together and with our egroup.

 

The other book I read this fall was by another amazing preacher, Christine Caine. She and her husband started a ministry in Europe to rescue girls who are sex slaves and build them up in a life in Christ. They also have another ministry called Project Europe which focuses on training believers in Europe to become leaders. The Lord has given me a love for Europe so when I heard this it quickly caught my attention. The book undaunted teaches about how to face fear. If you are looking for a good read, check these out!!

 

The Mystery Box

This year our Science/Social Studies schedule is a little different. Instead of the traditional A/B schedule we see A day for 4 1/2 weeks and then B day for 4 1/2 weeks. The philosophy is that if students see us everyday they will understand and retain the content better. Friday was the last day for B day before second quarter. We were done with all of the Earth's atmosphere content. I decided to dedicate the day to "spooky science". Next quarter's content is the human body. I cooked up some "body parts" and put them into three different shoe boxes. I had the kids stick their hand in the box through a small hole in the lid. I told them a story of a man who was last seen alive in his office. All that was found were these remains. The government wanted them to identify the body parts. They were not allowed to look at the body parts. Most did not ask why! They had to list the "body parts" they found and place them into the correct body system (I created a chart for this) It was a great pre-assessment to see what they already know about the human body systems. It was hilarious to see their faces as they stuck their hands in the box. There were some shrieks and squeels! I'm pretty sure they enjoyed it and are a little more excited about studying the human body next quarter! Twelve year olds are the best!

Here are the body parts!

Carrots=fingers
Tortillas=skin
Blanched tomato=heart
Spaghetti=veins
Grapes=eyes
Small beans=teeth
Marshmallows=pieces of intestines

I put most of the food in oil before hand so it was extra slimy!

In Training

 

My husband officially started training today. The cool thing about CMPD is that you are hired first and then you go through the academy. We are both a little nervous and excited about this new season of life. I don't do change very well and this is a big change for our little lives. I'm nervous about what his schedule will be like because it's not the same everyday. At the same time, I'm excited because we have seen God provide this job. Applying to CMPD is a long and difficult process and Bradley made it though the process smoothly. It is truly a blessing. Please pray for us as we enter this new season!
Things to pray for:
That we will adjust to the new schedule
Bradley has the strength he needs for the physical training
That he retains the information he learns in class
That will will glorify our Lord in all that he does

A Chance...

My second year of teaching has been very different from last year. First of all, I was pretty sick the week school started and didn't feel prepared at all. Second of all, I feel like my kids are different in many ways from my students last year. Their behaviors are different as well as their performance in the classroom. I feel like I am a drill sergeant most days. As teachers, we take on many roles. We are teachers, counselors, nurses, even mom to some of the kids. Last year and this year, I have had students placed in my classroom in order to keep them out of trouble. At first I had the attitude of "Why me?". I am just a second year teacher and do NOT have the skills that many veteran teachers have. However, these students bless me each day. When I see them behave and give 110% on their work, I feel like jumping for joy. When they do well on a quiz and defeat the odds, it gives me warm fuzzies! A teacher gave me an article today from the Charlotte Observer called "The keys to a child's success". One point the author, Kay Mspadden, made was that children who are nurtured and comforted by adults are more resourceful and show self control. Some children are exposed to constant stress at home and they feel the need to continue the stress at school in order to feel normal. Their growing bodies are in a constant fight or flight mode. These children have no idea what it feels like to be nurtured of comforted. Children need to feel attachment to an adult.  This is truly a sad reality. The Lord really spoke to me through these words. Some scripture came to mind:

"Those who give to the poor lack nothing, but those who close their eyes to them receive many curses." Psalm 28:27

"As the body without the spirit is dead, so faith without deeds is dead." James 2:26

"In the same way, faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead." James 2:17

"Give generously to them and do so without a grudging heart; then because of this the Lord your God will bless you in all your work and in everything you put your hand to."  Deuteronomy 15:11

"We remember before our God and Father your work produced by faith, your labor prompted by love, and your endurance inspired by hope in our Lord Jesus Christ." 1 Thessalonians 1:3

As a teacher in a VERY large school district, I see children who are hungry. Yes, some are hungry for food but many are hungry for love. We as teachers have the opportunity to love as Christ loved. We can nurture and comfort our students. I am not writing this to say that teachers are the greatest thing in the world. It's to encourage the teachers who read this. SO many teachers feel discouraged each day at work and are ready to call it quits. I know because I hear it everyday. You can read the facebook statuses! We as teachers have the last chance to make a difference. We have a chance to love. To glorify God. Stand firm in your calling and love in a mighty way.

Greater

So tonight I feel like writing about teaching. Yesterday was a hard day for me. I had more than one student get "attitudes". This is pretty normal in the middle school setting but I guess I just wasn't in the mood for it. There are several things that I don't tolerate from my students but one of the biggest things is talking back to me. I always say, "I don't argue with children", and leave it at that. Yesterday, one young man didn't want to tuck his shirt in and gave a big oooooookkkkkkkkaaaayyyyy when I asked him to do it. Of course I said, "You mean yes Ma'am." Anyways, some days attitudes just get to me more than others. Right now, Pastor Steven at Elevation is leading us in a series called Greater. Greater in worldly standards means a bigger house or a nicer car but for our church greater means God doing great things through us for his kingdom. The Lord has called me to teach middle school. As we've started going through the series I've been pondering on how God can do great things through a simple teacher. For the past several years, both Bradley and I wanted to go into the ministry. Either being missionaries or possibly going on staff with Cru. The Lord has been slamming some of those doors shut recently. It has definitely been made clear that I am to teach. The Lord has been opening my eyes to how I can glorify him in my teaching. One awesome thing about being a science teacher is that I can show my students how amazingly our world has been put together. From Earth being able to sustain life to how gravity keeps them on the ground. All of these things show God's sovereignty. Even though I can't tell them this, I can pray for the holy spirit to reveal it and I do. You can also pray specifically for this. Another way the Lord is revealing how to glorify him in teaching is to love. Which of course he calls all of us to do. It can be challenging to show love to the student who smacks their lips at you or rolls their eyes. But then there are those students who have no love at home, Who don't eat except when there at school. We get the opportunity to show the grace of God to those kids. From words of affirmation to quality time, we teachers have great opportunities. I just wanted to share a little of what the Lord has been teaching me though his word and my church. I also wanted to encourage the other teachers out there who may wonder how they can glorify God is a place where it seems restricted. Thank you Lord for your provision!

Slovakia and Stuff

I never got to process our trip to Slovakia when I got home. My flare started the last day we were there and then knocked me off my feet for the next 3 weeks! Bradley's mom actually unpacked my suitcase for me. We LOVED our time in SK. We was great to see our dear friends and spend quality time with them. It was Bradley's first time to Europe and it's safe to say I have a husband who loves it just as much as me! We have a new Kofola lover on our hands! We love the people of Slovakia and can't wait to return. Here are a few pictures:

E and Auntie Cait
We reviewed human body vocab by building monsters!

I had the best translator ever!

We loved spending time with Zuzu and her family!

and of course, hanging out with this girl was a huge highlight! I miss you!

UC UPDATE:

The last time I blogged I was hanging out in the hospital. They sent me home on Wednesday but on Thursday my symptoms were back and just as bad. They decided to keep me at home as long as I could stay hydrated and I would be on 60mg of Prednisone (pretty high!) The next Monday things were still the same so my doctor decided it was time for the next step which is a medication called Remicade. I had to have some tests done and get it approved by my insurance. It cost about $5000 an infusion! Praise the Lord for insurance! I was approved quickly for it. I had my first infusion this past Monday ( 1 week after the doctor made the decision). I started feeling better the next day. Each day I feel a little bit better and I praise the Lord for it! There are risks with Remicade which is why they wait as long as they can but the Lord has clearly led me here and I trust that he will guide me through it and protect me. I have had many conversations with the Lord these past few weeks while laying in bed and sitting on the throne:) I can't wait to share what he has shown me. It's truly incredible. Remicade is only given by IV infusion and as often as every few weeks or so. Hopefully I will get to a point where it will be every 2 months. However, this is probably something I will be doing for the rest of my life. That was hard to swallow at first but the Lord led me here. So I am just sitting back and waiting on him. Thanks for your prayers!

Hospital Days

So I made it to the hospital.... I was really hoping NOT to end up here but I just don't seem to be getting what I want these days! However, it is a blessing to live in a place where we can go the ER and be treated with some of the best care in the world! As I said in my last post, I ended up with a severe flare when I got home from Slovakia. I don't think SK had much to do with it since I had some changes before I left. It just didn't get out of wack until I got over the ocean. I got severely dehydrated Sunday night and went to the ER. They asked me to pee and I couldn't. I quickly got 2 bags of fluid, potassium, morphine, and much more! I had no idea dehydration could hurt so bad! I am on IV steroids and I am hoping to switch back to oral steroids tomorrow and go home. The fat face should be making an appearance soon! There is still hope to get my UC under control. The next meds are a little different but are effective for most people. They are actually the same meds my dad takes to keep his body from rejecting his new (now ten years old!) liver. Keep praying that God will be glorified and for the doctors to have wisdom! I have had some awesome docs here in Charlotte! Thanks!